Sometimes there is a nagging thought in the back of your mind, which won’t let you be. Nine months since I trashed my blog, the nagging has become un-ignorable.
I am not sure if this is a good idea, considering the internal wars I waged before I deleted the old blog. I don’t regret losing all the stuff I wrote for more than a decade – to completely let go of the past is probably the only thing I am really good at. But am I ready to wear my heart on my sleeve again?
I am not sure what I would write. Today, I find myself very different from the young woman who started writing a blog 11 years ago. There is less exuberance, less excitement for the future, but a rather more tranquil mental state of just being. While the zen state helps in gaining perspective and moving a tad bit closer to my childhood ideal of becoming a “dignified and mature” woman, it clashes jarringly with the peri-menopausal hormonal shebang and the associated need to express.
Perhaps I will use this blog as a journal of my spiritual journey inwards or to share the small existential joys of life. Perhaps I will fall back on old times, and my sense of humour (which seems to have gone AWOL at the moment) will return and I will write about the quirks of my life. I hope to not rant, but sometimes when the hormones are out of whack I may, as Leonard of TBBT did, talk to ” strangers on the Internet”, for after all, a stranger’s just a friend you do not know. And when the creative juices flow, I would even write a poem or two.
Right now, all I know is that there are words that must be strung, and I will just let this blog take its own course on the stung words.