Do or do not, there is no try?

Sometimes there is a nagging thought in the back of your mind, which won’t let you be.  Nine months since I trashed my blog, the nagging has become un-ignorable.

I am not sure if this is a good idea, considering the internal wars I waged before I deleted the old blog.  I don’t regret losing all the stuff I wrote for more than a decade – to completely let go of the past is probably the only thing I am really good at.  But am I ready to wear my heart on my sleeve again?

I am not sure what I would write.  Today, I find myself very different from the young woman who started writing a blog 11 years ago. There is less exuberance, less excitement for the future, but a rather more tranquil mental state of just being.  While the zen state helps in gaining perspective and moving a tad bit closer to my childhood ideal of becoming a “dignified and mature” woman, it clashes jarringly with the peri-menopausal hormonal shebang and the associated need to express.

Perhaps I will use this blog as a journal of my spiritual journey inwards or to share the small existential joys of life. Perhaps I will fall back on old times, and my sense of humour (which seems to have gone AWOL at the moment) will return and I will write about the quirks of my life.      I hope to not rant, but sometimes when the hormones are out of whack I may, as Leonard of TBBT did, talk to ” strangers on the Internet”, for after all, a stranger’s just a friend you do not know. And when the creative juices flow, I would even write a poem or two.

Right now, all I know is that there are words that must be strung, and I will just let this blog take its own course on the stung words.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Do or do not, there is no try?

  1. Maha

    I wholeheartedly agree with your closing. All that matters is there are words waiting to be strung! A lot of times, it’s that need to express that makes me want to write, without over-analyzing the rational or the outcome. Looking forward to reading you more!

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. rrmom

    The beauty of strung words from you is what makes people like me look forward to your posts. The need to write is almost like screaming for me. It gets the angst out and I am calm once the words are out of my system. Then I go back trying to be zen.

    Liked by 1 person

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