Forty Four

I turn forty four today.  Until now I believe forty four is old, and that I can never be forty four.  But, I am.  And don’t feel old at all.  Cognitive dissonance.

So, what have I to show for the forty four years?

Biologically, my purpose has been fulfilled.  I have passed the genes of my ancestors to yet another generation.

Other than that, I have not moved or shaken the world.  The best part is that it’s OK.

On a personal level, I have, in my own bungling way, established a functional family, a rewarding career* and a comfortable life.  I am grateful to the rest of the world for letting me be – a benefit not available to 50% of the world’s population.  I am what I am, merely by the roll of a dice.  I am humbled by that.

My goals for the coming year and possibly the future?

Continue doing my stuff sincerely, hopefully with no expectations of returns.

Face the impending life-change with a modicum of balance.  And lots of patience.

Breathe through my life and let not my mental stories rule me.

Accept people and situations for what they are, and not what I want them to be.

Simplify.  Materialistically and spiritually.

That’s it.   Easy in words.  At 44, I am ready for the challenge – after all what’s life without them.


*This morning’s email from a client said “Thank you for your continued support for me in my research. I am happy to share you a good news of my research paper been accepted by International Journal of ****. The decision letter is attached for your reference. It would not have been possible without you maam ” – an email like this, grammatical error and all, makes my job so much more worthwhile than the increment to my bank balance.


9 thoughts on “Forty Four

  1. Hangaku Gozen

    Happy Birthday! By my lights you are just a young’un with many years ahead of you, hopefully all of them happy ones. I hope you take some time out for yourself. It’s too easy for busy moms to overlook their own needs for the sake of their families. Maybe take time out for a nice dinner at a restaurant or high tea with cucumber sandwiches and the like? I’ll be drinking a toast to you, regardless of what you decide to do on your day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


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