Today hasn’t been a good day. It may not matter in the large scheme of things, but the day has not ended and I am walking on egg-shells lest I add to the mess.
On my way by Uber, to a family gathering, the driver tells me he saw army personnel at the airport during his previous ride. The reality of an impending war hit me then. Yes, there might not be one, or there might be, and in either case, our southern tip will most likely not be affected directly – the army personnel are probably just brought in for security. Still, I feel uncomfortable. For my country. For my country’s soldiers who have pledged their lives so that I can sit in my living room now and type this blog post, which will go no where and serve no purpose. I am scared for the “enemy” country. For their soldiers, who have families and friends that they have left behind to live comfortably. God, why must we be the most violent species in the world?
But that’s on an impersonal level. On a personal level, I burnt a utensil beyond redemption. I had left rice to boil and went on to do other chores and forgot all about it. While the accident left me irritated in itself, this carelessness led to further interpersonal mishaps and I was fuming all morning. Usually when I am angry, I don’t react. I remove myself from the situation, stew in my anger in private, and then come back to social circulation. On rare occasions, I succumb and feel crappy about it for the rest of the day. Like you have stepped on poop and there is no tap nearby to wash off. Sigh.
I have a deadline on Wednesday, and I am no where near even half-done. I am getting a little nervous. Tomorrow will be a busy day as well with navarathri visits. So that’s another elephant on my chest.
I hope the rest of the day proceeds without further ado. And that, that stupid elephant finds something else to do.