The mismatch

In many posts here, I have hinted at how, despite being in the fourth decade of existence, I don’t feel a day older than my 12-year old. My body doesn’t agree with me. While the two hours of fun at the “bring an adult to football” at the kid’s football coaching class was fine and dandy as I time travelled to be the competitive prick trying to out-do kids who have been training for nearly a year now (Ha !), a day later, each cell in my body is rapping “you are 44, you are 44” rhythmically to the pulsating pain.  Did you know that it is possible to sprain a single butt-cheek?

If you are in the Chennai area and see a woman ever so un-seductively  hobbling along while holding on to her left backside lest it falls off, you are in the midst of an aspiring footballer’s middle-aged mother. Bow to the grand matriarch and you will be spared butt-sprain as you get beaten black and blue by tiny things that were little more than a gleam in someone’s eye not too long ago.

12 thoughts on “The mismatch

  1. Maha

    Hahaha…. not experienced butt sprain but the butt cheeks hurt like crazy after first day of my intensive dance workshops. You will see me waddling around those days. Are there any stretches that you can do?


  2. Hangaku Gozen

    Wait until you become a grandmother and have to run after little ones when you’re in your 60s! When I’m visiting the grandkids, I’m so tired I have to sit down every 15 minutes. It’s frustrating, since mentally I feel like I’m still 20, but I always pop a knee joint when running and jumping. The kids think it’s funny, but it takes me a day or two to recover, with lots of hot showers and Tiger Balm rubs. The only advantage is that mosquitoes stay away from me, since I reek of camphor.


  3. Pingback: Share Your World – 2016: Week 48 | Gobblefunk Words

      1. The V Pub

        Now I’m laughing even more! I confess that I’ve never had a butt sprain, but coaching in youth sports has had it’s painful moments. Warming up a pitcher without a protective cup comes to mind. There’s no graceful way out of that one.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LG

        I played volleyball in school, where the coach aimed smashes at the top half of the torso. Bras are not protective cups for the breasts, just so you know. So, we are even.

        Liked by 1 person

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