Monday Blues

If you are looking to start the week with a chirpy, positive and happy-happy-joy-joy kinda post, I suggest you look elsewhere because there is going to be a lot of bichin’ from here on.

  • I haven’t been sleeping well – I am in bed for longer than usual, but my sleep is infested with dreams.  This morning, I woke up and went about my duty, and released that it had been a dream, so I woke up, went about my duties, and realised that it had been a dream within a dream, and then I woke up to go about my duties, to realise that this had been a dream within a dream within a dream, at which point, the ridiculousness hit me, and I really woke up feeling thrice as miserable as Calvin.  Or at least I hope I woke up, and am not writing this blog post in another dream.  I also dreamt that I was going to an unknown place, getting lost in a scary building, writing exams that I had not prepared for, losing stuff, walking around naked in a public place….name it, I was there.  I really need to be straightjacketed.

calvin

  • As with most people in this world, I have many faults (gasp ! really?!  who would’ve thought !).  My predominant of faults is that I underestimate the amount of work involved in things.  I had promised to help a friend with her pet project, and thought it would take 2 hours of my life.  It took 2 hours to just get the preliminaries out of the way. Now, the problem is that my friend is clueless on how to proceed and depends on me and I don’t have the luxury of time to invest in this project. Saying no does not come naturally to me, and in this case, I was excited about the project before I knew how much work this involved. What complicates matters is that I have an apple MAC, which does not interphase well with Windows programs, and she has a buggy Windows machine, which takes forever for even a keystroke to register.  So, I am in a situation that makes me a little nauseated.
  • The North East Monsoon has failed miserably this year in our side of the world.  This is the only season that waters us through the following year.  Having been through some heavy-duty famines in the past, I shudder at the thought of the next year.  The weather has gotten chilly too (which is probably hot as hell for most of the readers of this blog living in temperate and arctic zones..but for us, it is chilly) and chilly weather makes me sluggish, I have trouble waking up (without dreaming about waking up multiple times).
  • My kid’s friends are visiting this evening.  Normally, I am fine with that.  Today, for some reason, I am irritated. I don’t want to be responsible for people’s food today. And I am in no mood to listen to giggles and Taylor Swift.   The woman writes brilliant songs but has no music in her.  I warned you that I was in a bitchin’ mood, didn’t I?
  • A third person told me today that I have put on a lot of weight.  I know I have, but didn’t realise it was enough for people to take notice and comment.  I have been, for nearly a month, trying to lose weight through a combination of diet, which gives me constant migraines, and exercise, which makes my body constantly sore. Men are lucky b*&@$@! – all they have to do are a few push ups and they are back in shape in no time.  All pushups would give me if I tried, would be uterine hernia or something. The end result is that I am annoyed all the time.  I don’t want my 30’s back but I would be happy if I could get back the 30s body that would listen to me.  Or at least a better body image.  I not only feel useless and inefficient, but ugly too – oh joy.
  • The rest of the week does not look like it is going to get any better.There are some chores to be taken care of in the bank, and I hate those chores even in the best of moods.

You’d think this was PMS times, but it isn’t.  Nothing to hide behind, no excuses for my bitchiness except the inherent me in all my gory glory, fuelled by Kafka dreams, constant hunger and the tyre of doom around my midsection.  I am writing this post with the hope that I vent out the pressure here, instead of  on loved ones.   I usually don’t – I am very guarded with words when I am disturbed, but the pressure builds until the waterworks start.

I am in no mood for the waterworks either.

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12 thoughts on “Monday Blues

  1. Maha

    One of those days, huh? I too get dreams of failing an exam or sitting clueless in an exam hall. Also going around naked. The most traumatic one is when I am so thirsty and I am talking but nobody is hearing me. I get different versions of these dreams.

    I hope your day gets better. This may not be a good time to mention it, but I did want to thank you for your other comment about urging me to take care of my excercising. I needed to hear it then and now here in this post.

    I remember you had mentioned about how you like self deprecating humor – I googled and here’s what it threw up – http://flavorwire.com/357052/hilariously-self-depricating-quotes-from-your-favorite-authors Hope this gives you a minute to two of beating the blues.

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    1. LG

      I think it was a combination of sleep deprivation and carbohydrate deprivation. Throwing that tantrum here helped.
      Yes, do not take exercising lightly. The body does not respond too well into the forties, so might as well get proactive.
      Loved loved the quotes. So sweet of you to send it across…you know how to cheer me up.

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  2. The V Pub

    Walking around naked seems like a much better situation than trying to figure out Windows quirks. My worst nightmare is when I dream that I’m late for work, and then discover it’s not a dream at all. I wonder where people think that they can comment on other people’s appearance? Seems like boundaries are not being respected.

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    1. LG

      I am fairly sure the windows quirk was the last straw on my back today, that initiated that tantrum.
      Oh, I am late for everything in my dreams, and those are my worst nightmares. If I discovered it was not a dream, I’d probably get a stroke or something.
      Where I live, there are no boundaries. We are all one continuum.
      Reading your post helped me today. There is so much humour in the world – that’s the good news that can dispel the bluest of blues. Thank you.

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  3. Carol

    We all have those nights and days, I think. I think the important thing for each of us is that we eat healthy foods (at least most of the time – an occasional binge on not-so-healthy is also good for the psyche) and get at least moderate exercise. Our bodies change with the years, and we need to remember that what is important is who and what we are, not our body shapes. If we cannot love and accept ourselves, neither can anyone else.

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    1. LG

      I get that during sane times, but there are some times when the brain is messed up and thats when the devil begins to play.
      I love food and sleep, more than love, I need lots of food (good, sometimes unhealthy) and uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. I haven’t had both in a while (food = smaller portions and sleep riddled with dreams)…so I guess that was the reason for my crabbiness, brought to a head by malfunctioning MS-Windows, which I hope I never have to work with again in my life !
      I am ashamed for the body shamming I did, but then, I was just throwing a tantrum here, so forgive and forget.

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  4. Pingback: Share Your World – 2016 Week 47 | Gobblefunk Words

  5. Hangaku Gozen

    Dieting is tricky, especially if you’re cutting out foods that your body has become used to processing. If you suddenly cut out all carbs after years of eating them on a regular basis, your metabolism has a fit. I had to gradually ease out some foods I really like but knew weren’t good for me, like cheese and pasta. (Which are actually good foods in moderate portions. I just don’t know what a moderate portion is. *rolls eyes*) Now that I’m finally down to a weight I can live with, I treat myself to an occasional pasta dish smothered in cheese, but I try to balance it out by eating nothing but vegetables and fruits for the rest of the day, and sometimes, the following day. But again, you have to be gentle about changing your daily routine. One reason why so many New Year’s resolutions re diet and exercise fail is because people go Spartan overnight and put themselves on an extreme schedule of dieting and workouts. Earlier in the year, I saw at my boxing gym paramedics carrying out a young man out on a stretcher. I asked the attendant at the desk if he was knocked out while sparring; he laughed and said, no, he’d been running on a treadmill and passed out. The young man admitted while they were waiting for the ambulance that he’d only eaten a banana and a glass of milk that day (it was 4 p.m. when he fainted). I thought, if I was your mother I would cry and smack you over the head with a bunch of bananas. Nobody gains five pounds overnight, so why believe you can lose them in a day?

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    1. LG

      You’d think from all the fuss I am kicking that I am starving myself. All I am doing is cutting down portion sizes to half. Imagine what would happen if I started on the banana-milk diet – all hell would break loose.
      My two biggest weaknesses (not sure if you can call it that) are food and sleep. If I have to cut back on either, I am like a kindergartener who has been given carrots on halloween. Sheesh, I have a lot of growing up to do.

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  6. Suchitra

    Please vent away. This is your space and you should do with it whatever you choose. I find blogging cathartic.
    Weight loss…oh gosh..if I had a dime for every time I have tried to do that, I’d be a very rich woman. I have my own series of anger and frustrations over not being able to lose weight. I don’t think I could do the dieting any more. Come to think of it, can’t do the exercising much either. I am doomed. Still, a combination of the two may work. I hope.
    A final note – I love how you have enumerated seemingly random but significant events, all of which lead to a degree of anger, frustration, unhappiness, or annoyance. I totally get it. When I am upset, it is almost never just that one thing. Everything else that happened that day, that week, or within the larger context of my life are all fair game. Hope the upcoming days go better.

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    1. LG

      It got better after the rant. Random events are the worst because you feel guilty afterwards at having kicked a fuss for no good reason.
      Losing weight – age makes a difference. Until a couple of years ago, my body would listen and respond beautifully – one week of careful eating and workout would sculpt it to perfection. Now, nothing seems to work. But not to discourage you or anything…keep at it.

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  7. UL

    Where would we be without good old Calvin 👍 it must be getting into late Thursday now, hope your Monday blues have turned to Friday Excitement…😉

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