Monthly Archives: December 2016

A birthday and new year

My kid turns 13 today. She has prospered for 13 years, despite her mom groping around in the dark with this whole parenting mystery.  Perhaps I am causing irreparable damage to the kid through my clueless parenting.  Nevertheless, being a theist, I believe that there is someone up there who takes care of wayward souls.

Everyone who wished her today, tells me that I had better pull my act together and brace myself for teenage.  So far, beyond the natural skirmishes that happen when any two people share a roof, neither of us has needed therapy.  Even those skirmishes are caused by me rather than her.  The kid has wisdom that the mom lacks, and I hope it stays that way – the kid’s wisdom, that is, not mom’s lack of it.

The milestone for this year for her was her first crush.  It’s so cute to see puppy love in all its glory.

She had nothing planned for today, so I invited her friends for a surprise party. These are the kids she has grown up with and mean a lot to her. She was duly surprised and all that.  For about an hour, the house was total and utter bedlam, until unable to tolerate the decibel levels, I kicked all of them out. Thankfully, I hired help today to clean the house after the kids were done with their mess.

On a global level, it’s the end of another year. This year started off very badly for me with a loss and some self-esteem issues that threatened to drown me, but I like to believe that I have grown emotionally and in strength since then.  Maybe 2017 won’t be any better than 16 in terms of events, because I do anticipate some tremulous times ahead on the family front, but I hope that the lessons learned this year would come of use.

I am a little skeptical about new year resolutions because whenever I proclaim them to the world, I end up being worse than before in those very aspects.  Nevertheless, my resolutions for this year are “less reactive thinking” and “more meditation”.  Lets see how that works out.

Happy new year, dear readers.  You have been a big part of my emotional growth this year.  Stick around, you are doing good to a stranger without knowing it.

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Distracted

Feeling very scatter brained and distracted.  Perhaps my daughter’s birthday excitement (although there is nothing planned), or new year expectations (don’t know what) or the discomfort of my grandma’s impending first death anniversary mid Jan.  I can’t focus on any thing today.  Which is a bad thing because I have so much work to finish this week.

It is close to eleven, I haven’t showered.  I haven’t planned the meal for today.  I haven’t cleaned.  I haven’t written a word of professional writing.

Send some mojo my way please.

Share Your World – 2016 Week 52

Sharing my world for the last time this year.

What’s your favorite ice-cream flavor? 

Butterscotch.  Rum-and-raisin.  See the pattern?

If you were to treat yourself to the “finer things” what would you treat yourself to? 

I don’t know. Perhaps I am a spartan, or maybe I am just incredibly blessed – I have everything I need. I would just want a struggle-free life.  But that is not a “finer” thing – it is a necessity, no?

Have you ever been drunk? 

Not fully drunk, but a bit tipsy.  When we had been to Florence last summer, we had dinner (pizza) at a local non-touristy shop-around-the-corner.  They served homemade wine that was a bit stronger than the wine I am used to.  I giggled all the way back to the hotel, which I think is a sign of tipsiness. While my better-half was amused, my daughter promised to disown me if it ever happened again.

Once earlier, I had a couple of sips of Scotch (yuck!) and was queasy for the rest of the night. Not sure that counts as being drunk, but that put me off all hard liquor.

On the subject of wine, my favourite are Chianti (Tuscan) and Chardonnay (French).  Sadly, both are beyond my financial reach. So, that could be an answer to the earlier question – if I could treat myself to finer things, I’d have a glass of either of them now and then.

Complete this sentence: My favorite supposedly guilty pleasure is… 

Interesting that wine seems to be the standard answer to all questions this week.  I promise you, I am not an alcoholic although it seems that way !

Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Meeting with my college classmates. IT showed me how I have changed (for the better) and how I have everything I need in life. I must have done something incredibly good in life to be blessed with such a life.

I am looking forward to my kid turning thirteen on new year’s eve.  I am also looking forward to a year that is hopefully not as tremulous as this one has been.

 

Questions

Many of these questions are from the weekend meeting with old classmates.  Some generally like that from life itself…

  1. Why must anyone who learns that we have not owned a television in fifteen years, unfailingly respond with “oh, we have TV but we only watch the Discovery channel”?
  2. Why must stay-at-home-women friends who learn that I work from home, unfailingly respond with “Oh, I used to work, but I quit because I wanted to be there for my child”?
  3. Why must work-from-outside women friends who learn that I work from home, unfailingly respond with “Oh, work from home is useless….there is nothing like going to an office to build work ethics”?
  4. Why do people, meeting me after years, find it compulsive to advice me on how to regrow hair on my scantily covered head – apply onion juice, eat sprouts, don’t use shampoo…
  5. Why must people who are seeking to re-start their paused career, ask me to outsource some of my excess work to them , because you know, I only work from home, so it must be something that anyone can do?  No matter that it has taken me 17 years of struggle and learning to get to where I am.  This one, I am judging nine ways to Sunday.
  6. Why is religion never a private thing?  Why must my Christian long-lost friends immediately talk to me about how forgiving Jesus is? Why must my Iyengar friends be aghast because I, a hard core Iyengar, refused to get branded by samashrayanam?  Why is the fact that my family is made of one atheist, one theist, and one who is still deciding, scandalous to public sensibilities?
  7. Why do social science/management articles refer to women as “female”?  What’s wrong in saying “The sample consisted of men and women”, why must it be “male and female”?  Is it just I who associates the term “male” and “female” to genetalia?  And rats?
  8. Why is ageing a bad thing?  Why must we all convince each other that we look just the same as we looked back in college?  Why must I hide my grey with henna?

Whirlwind days

The bones aren’t as young as they used to be.  At least mine aren’t.  The college friend who was my house guest for 3.5 days,  continues to be the storehouse of all the energy of the world like she used to be, and while I held up well for three days with her, the last half day was exhausting.   The woman left, as energetic as she came, despite not having slept well in a new place, and socialising like there is no tomorrow.  I went to bed and slept like a log for three hours after she left.

It was lovely to be able to go back in time with her, and it helped that a whole bunch of our classmates had come down to our city from various parts of the world, to spend Christmas holidays.  In a mark of amazing coincidence, our juniors had their 20th year reunion in campus and we ran into them as well.  The fact that I now live in the same campus that we studied in (the husband being a prof there) was a big factor for meeting and our house was like an open house these past three days, with guys and girls dropping in and out all hours of the day and night.  I never knew I had it in me to manage a social life centred around my home, but I did well !

It was interesting to see the changes and the similarities of these people from old times.  I noticed the endearing quirks of people I had forgotten – like S, who would always announce “cross” before she crossed roads,  R and her highly Hindi-accented Tamil, J and her amazing memory -I wouldn’t be surprised if she remembered incidents from her previous birth, and G’s natural concern for the girls – “are your husbands treating you girls well?  If not, let me know I will bash them up”

I also remembered the irritating quirks of people – S’s attention span of a gnat, J’s propensity to talk all the time and not let a single word from others edgewise, R’s restless hand movements, G’s need to argue all the time…

“You have quietened” said a friend to me. I have indeed quietened a lot, I could make that out myself when I was with them.  But I feel glad about it.  I wanted to be what I am now, when I was at that age. So maybe I have aged gracefully after all.

Back to the grind now that she has left.  Stay tuned.