Work is worship and all that

After one whole week of power and internet outages, my work backlog extends from here to the moon.  Scratched the surface after working 6 hours straight with one bathroom break in between.

One of my greatest attitude flaws is that I underestimate my skills – modesty is alright and all that, but I underestimate my ability to such gross extents that I freak out every single time that I would fail miserably.  This is not new to me. Every exam I have attended, I have stepped into the examination hall in abject panic that I would not be able to write a word in my answer sheet, only to ace the exam.  I couldn’t sleep last night because I was freaking out because I had to come up with four technical ideas and write them up into a letter of intent before Monday.  I was sure that my client was going to fire me, and that his company would crash because I could not meet the Monday deadline.  And then, since the company went belly up, so many people would have to go home without a severance package, and it would all be my fault.

I finished two already and a third is getting some shape, and only needs hour or two before it takes full shape.  And I have the weekend to go.

Will I learn my lesson?  No.  Next time I will freak out all over again.




3 thoughts on “Work is worship and all that

  1. Suchitra

    Life’s like that…Sometimes. Panic and anxiety means you care, okay maybe not the panic part but I really do believe that if we care about something, the anxiety of wanting to do a good job is just a side effect. Good luck with the intentions.


  2. ss

    I go through some of this as I am getting older. In my younger days, I used to be kind of a last minute person, but would always get the task completed on time. One of the reasons was I would be able to focus really well the day before something was due, as opposed to the week before.

    Now, I don’t seem to enjoy the last minute adrenaline rush as much…



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