Stop that infernal chewing

I have a fair share of personality quirks.  I have to change into fresh underwear before I go to bed at night.  I have “my spot” on the couch for work.    If I haven’t eaten curd rice for three days in a row, I get cranky.  I am the quintessential wall flower in gatherings.

There is one quirk of mine that I thought is completely crazy.  I can’t stand the sound of people chewing.  Unfortunately, my car pool kids are noisy chewers.  Whenever I make the mistake of bringing them a snack, I kick myself because their sounds of chewing make me want to drive the car into oncoming traffic. It takes all my willpower to not yell at the kids, because, hell they are not my kids.  On the rare occasion that my kid forgets I am in the room, and chews loudly, she gets hit by a tsunami.  Some of my relatives chew loudly.  I avoid going to family functions that involve eating because I feel like sticking my fingers into my eyes when I sit next to them at the meal table.  I believe that if I get a complete nervous breakdown in life, this would be the trigger. Just writing about the chewing sound is making me want to assume foetal position and scream.

I thought I was crazy. I AM crazy, but this is not the reason, because

drum rolls please…

MISOPHONIA is an established condition, it seems, and scientists even know what causes it !

I am thrilled by this news.  Now see, THAT’s what makes me crazy.


4 thoughts on “Stop that infernal chewing

  1. The V Pub

    OMG, noisy eaters are one of my pet peeves! Some people love the sound of crunchy food in their mouth, but it drives me crazy. As far as underwear, I can’t wear anything to bed, let alone undies.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gobblefunkist Post author

    Chewing crunchy food is, well, irritating, but does not make me homicidal. The “nochu nochu” sound people make when chewing non crunchy food (e.g. bread) drives me insane. I mean….criminally insane !


  3. chronicworrier

    OMG, you’re not going to believe this- I just ran from the pantry into the office to escape the sounds of someone’s loud chewing! It drives me up the wall in a way nothing else ever does. I cannot physically stay in the room because it makes me feel like my throat’s closing up and it takes all my strength not to scream. You in an enclosed space with multiple little people noisily chewing- my head just burst imagining the scene!


    1. gobblefunkist Post author

      Sorry, I lost your comment and had to move mountains to get it back. I am horrible with technology, I say.

      You could be me. Oh God…I feel the throat closing up too. Its scary.



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