Of dreams and thoughts

The dreams are back, but with a variation. Usually, I would go unprepared for an exam, usually Tamil exam, in high school, and naked, to boot.  Or I would be lost in a colossal multi-storeyed white empty building with large stairs and run up and down these stairs in abject panic.  These days, I am in a large college campus, trying to find the classroom, and being completely unprepared for college.  Half the time I don’t even know which course I have taken, or if I do know which course I need to take, I have no clue what is going on.  There is no panic, but a dull sense of hopelessness.  My brain is a garbage dump, and really stinks once the lid of consciousness is opened in slumber.  My daughter gets weird dreams too, but my better half says that he does not remember any of his dreams and feels no aftertaste when he awakes.  I, on the other hand, need a couple of extra strong doses of coffee to break free of the gloom that lingers after I have awoken from my dreams.

Something else interesting happened.  Yesterday, a friend and I were discussing dreams.  This friend is a talker, and usually when we are conversing, it is one way, I listen more than talk, partly because I don’t like talking too much, and partly because this person leaves no breathing time for response.  This person notwithstanding, in general, contrary to my image from this very verbose blog, I am not a big talker.  As I told this friend about my consistent dreams of being unprepared (for exams/for class) , I was told “you have no thoughts in your mind…you never think of anything, hence the singular dream”.  The tone was not indicative of “you are thought-free, you enlightened soul”, rather, “you are stupid and empty upstairs”.  I know it because more than once I have been told by this person that I have no interests in anything (e.g. I don’t like watching movies, the only movies I watch are with family – both my better-half and kid like to watch movies, as “family time” rather than any personal interest in watching them), no passion (because I don’t passionately argue about or discuss anything), uncultured (because I don’t listen to music when I am working, and I am usually working most of the time), am a hamster-in-wheel (because I am doing something all the time without staring at the ceiling and thinking thoughts) and am, in effect, intellectually dead-as-a-dodo.  These have been told to me at different times, under different circumstances, and so I believe that “you don’t have thoughts in your head” is an extension of me being of vegetative state. For a moment, I flared up in my mind as “just because I don’t overthink everything and verbally vomit every thought that crosses my head, I am not a doorknob”, but figured that such a response would only lead to me having to listen to more arguments, and thus moved on.

The thought I had then was this:  It is so easy for the world to consider silent people/introverts as being stupid.  Being an introvert myself, let me tell you – we are not stupid.  In fact, we have more thoughts in our heads because we are not wasting time communicating it to others.  We don’t communicate our thoughts because we don’t need inputs from anyone else.  My thoughts usually range from banal stuff such as “where can I get a neem sapling to plant on my backyard” to philosophical/spiritual musings on God, mindfulness, hope, faith and death, none of which needs a recipient.   We are also sensitive people, and can gauge by the talker’s tone, what he/she really means beyond the words uttered, because WE LISTEN and not just hear.

A quote I subscribe to is “It is better to stay silent and let others think you are a fool, than open your mouth and waste time talking” !

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Of dreams and thoughts

  1. The V Pub

    This may sound strange, especially in context of some of my posts, but I, too, am an introvert. However, there are times that I’ve not taken the advice that you had posted with your last sentence. There are countless times that I wish I had. 😀

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    1. Gobblefunkist Post author

      I think most prolific bloggers are introverts. We desperately need to communicate and talking is too torturous. Hence the written word.
      Next time you attempt to waste your time talking when you really needn’t, think of a very angry gobblefunkist.

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  2. Hangaku Gozen

    I’m also an introvert, but I’ve noticed over time that people will try to take advantage of you if you are too silent. At some point one has to voice an opinion or preference: “No, you’re wrong,” “That’s something I have no interest in,” “I don’t know much about that subject, but that doesn’t sound right to me.” I think a lot of us who are introverts were told as children to make ourselves agreeable by saying “yes,” even when the other person is walking all over us. I also find that people who jabber breathlessly and never stop to let the other person speak are exhausting to be around, not to mention inconsiderate. Sitting silently and listening to them doesn’t help them, either. Better to speak up, even if it’s just to say, “Nope!”

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    1. Gobblefunkist Post author

      I have learned that too, and while I am not so blunt as to say a “No” as a “no”, I manage to communicate that this is enough. My husband teases me that I have the proverbial iron-fist-in-velvette-glove.
      That aside, sometimes I give leverage to the talker – there is a proverb in Tamil that approximately translates to “if we found faults with everyone, we’d have no one”. Only when my ears threaten to bleed do I do the iron-fist thing.

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  3. SS

    I respect quiet people a lot and would want to know their opinion, because they are so observant and don’t willingly offer their opinion. The talkative one’s, you know what is on their mind….the quiet one’s seem to have a mystery about them and have a steely grit too. So when they talk, I think everyone stops to listen 🙂

    Of course we are not talking about the annoying “empty vessel makes the most noise” type of extroverts or “the have nothing to say or offer” type of introverts.

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    1. Gobblefunkist Post author

      Ha ha…steely grit my foot. We are most likely thinking something completely inane, like how unfair it is that Emma Watson is so beautiful, smart AND has a divine voice!

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      1. SS

        Off topic..while you are enjoying Beauty and the Beast with the kid there…I am enjoying Bahubali with my kids here. Both Son and daughter just came home this weekend for semester break, and we watched Bahubali 1 at home on Sunday and went to see 2 at the Theaters on Monday. After all my friends had highly recommended it, I was waiting for them to come home so we could go as a family. Both of them thoroughly enjoyed the movie. We all loved it and still talking about the characters, the actors, the scenes, the plot. Very rare in our house as we are super selective when it comes to movies. It feels like after you read a really good book where the thought lingers in your mind for a while. Kids did say that it had some characteristics of a couple of Disney movies like Prince of Egypt and Mulan.

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  4. puppy1952

    I am angry 😡 that your ‘friend’ said those unkind things to you!
    I have similar dreams to yours. I was a teacher and now I frequently dream that I can’t find my classroom or turn up at the wrong school😂 (I was never once late for school and only missed a day if I were dying) in my dream I am fretting and worrying that my students are crying because I’m not there!

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    1. Gobblefunkist Post author

      Oh, the problem with talkers is that they don’t think before they talk. So, they can be pretty brash.
      The funny thing is that I was always a nerd. I haven’t missed a single class or exam, or been unprepared for anything. Even now, I work on deadlines, and I have not missed any yet. I suppose that’s why the subconscious fear that if I did, it would be catastrophe !

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