Monthly Archives: July 2018

Tuesday limp

After yesterday’s “hitting rock bottom and digging further”, this morning is limping back, albeit slowly, to something like normal.  Someone from the phone company, with a real name and all, responded to my complaint and promised to reactivate my number in 24 hours.  I won’t believe it until the automated voice stops saying “your number has been temporarily deactivated and you can’t make calls.  Please call ##$ for details” — no I can’t get over the stupidity of the message.

The office room continues to be unsettled, hopefully by tonight it would be in order.  I have not had a dedicated computer nor working space for the past two weeks as the better half and I have been working out permutations and combinations that would work for both of us. I finally have a dedicated computer (I hope), but it is set up on the dining table, which bothers me, because…OCD.  I have a lot of backlog to catch up.  Hopefully tomorrow.

July and August are aggravating in my city. While the rest of the peninsular cools down with the rains, my city and its surroundings continue to reel under heat.  Four months of heat can get to one, and I notice that tempers are on the rise, and people are generally snappy.  My plants have stopped blooming, because of the intense heat, and no amount of water I give them would be able to replace one heavy downpour.  It drizzles teasingly every evening and then disappears.

Yesterday, I had two tutoring sessions – one for my kind and her friends in Tamil, and the other, for my kid alone, in physics.  It was wonderful, we had a lot of fun, but so exhausting.  Hats off to the teachers who do this day in and day out.

Have a good day, folks.


Monday blues

The week has started off pretty badly, I am afraid.  So, if you don’t want to read rant, please skip this post, and come back another day.

Late last night, there was news that a political leader was critically ill, and in this part of the world, people get into a frenzy and do damage when political leaders pop off.  I know I must be more respectful of a dying man, who, although I don’t agree with ideologically, and who has screwed up my state by casteist politics, has done a few good things as well, at least in the area of free healthcare and education for the economically and socially downtrodden.  But right now I am irritated, more at the media and the goat-brained people of my state, who turn any sombre event into a social explosion.  I was up until late last night, following this news, because I didn’t know if I should send the kid to school today or not.  Both the formal media and social media were full of BS all night, so that I fell into a fitful sleep late, still not sure of what was happening.  This morning, I learn that said leader is fine etc., and the kid is off to school, muttering in bad mood, because she was up late as well, that “wish media would stop making leaders Scrodinger’s cats”, which even if prompted by sleep deprivation, was a very smart analogy.

The second irritant this morning is my phone.  I had ported from an international service provider to a local service provider a few months ago, and I got a message last week that I had outstanding dues with the previous provider, which, I promptly paid.  The current provider has cut off my service, nevertheless.  I am asked to call a toll free number from the mobile, which, does not work (are these providers really that stupid to give a number to call from the phone whose services have been deactivated?), the external number does not go through, and I get no response to my email, the online form does not work, and I feel like tearing my hair off.

We have been doing some carpentry work to fit up a formal office room, and the work is dragging on.

The week can only get better from here, no?

Today’s Scandal

Mom, after eating a roasted  nut topped ice cream: mmmmmmm, this is orgasmic!

dad and daughter look at each other.

Dad: I don’t know this woman, V.

Kid: Neither do I Appa.


Does potato mash with port give one a sizeable buzz? Hmmm.

Evil mom lady

Mom searching for beads online: hey, there is a bikini made of beads. I am gonna get one!

Kid: Amma stop

Mom:, What?! It has beads on all strategic locations you know…

Kid stomps off.


Mom getting up from having sat too long on a hard floor: My right bum is hurting and my left doesn’t know it.



Good day.



Some songs from my comfort hearing list

I have often said that silence is my best comfort.  But I also have phases during which I need music.  I listen to a play list on my phone when I need the comfort of familiarity.  I like some of them for the lyrics, some for the music, mostly for both. I have two lists.  One, Western music and the other, Indian.   I’ll share my Western list, because the Indian is too eclectic and all over the place (e.g. MSS-Chaurasia-Ilayaraja-Balamurali- Mandolin Srinivas etc.)

Imagine: John Lennon:  This one goes for the lyrics, the music and melody being very simple. There was a time in my youth when I would tear up at the song.  These days I don’t, in fact, sometimes I have this nagging thought that the words “Imagine no possessions….no need for greed or hunger” was sung by a man whose net worth was $800 million at the time of his death.  Still…

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

I believe in you: Don Williams.  Again, a simple song with a soothing tune and warm lyrics. I don’t know anything about the life of the singer, so there is no hypocrisy that  I perceive. My favourite lines in the song are given below, and the line in bold gives me goose-pimples every single time.

Well, I don’t believe that heaven waits, For only those who congregate
I’d like to think of God as love, He’s down below He’s up above
He’s watchin’ people everywhere, He knows who does and doesn’t care
And I’m an ordinary man, Sometimes I wonder who I am.

The Sound of Silence – Simon and Garnfunkle.  The lyrics are not very impressive to me, except perhaps the meme-worthy first line “Hello darkness, my old friend”, which I learned he came up in the bathroom – I’ll never look at the bathroom the same way again — but I love the harmony in the song,    I also like the rhyme of words throughout the song, but it’s mostly the music in this one.

La Isla Bonita – Madonna – Love Madonna’s voice.  There are two female voices that mesmerise me.  One is Madonna, and the other our own MSS.  Both have voices that are like dipping into cold spring water – crisp and fresh.  Madonna’s voice is very young and innocent in this song.  That’s why I hate her latest album Rebel Heart – the voice does not match the rebellious tone of the songs.

While my guitar gently weeps – The Beatles:  I don’t understand the lyrics of this one, which is strange, because apparently Harrison was inspired by Indian and Eastern philosophy when he wrote this piece.  I like the guitar work, in this, in which Eric Clapton apparently contributed without formal credit. I don’t like Harrison’s use of sitar in some of the earlier Beatles work, because I think he had the interest, but could’t get the actual sound of the sitar right.  In this work, although the guitar does seem to have a bit of his sitar forays, there is some form of nativity.  I also like the voice of Harrison in this song – it’s a little tentative and raw.

Hotel California – Eagles: This is one of the songs in which I love both the lyrics and the music.  The song symbolises life itself , especially “This could be heaven, or this could be hell”, “Some dance to remember, some dance to forget” and “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”.  My fav verses in the song:

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said, ‘we are all just prisoners here, of our own device’
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

Scarborough Fair – Simon and Garfunkle: Love love love the harmony in this very canticle-like piece.  I don’t get the lyrics though.  I mean, the individual ones, yes.  One is a rustic song about setting impossible tasks to choose the love of one’s life, and the other is a war song.  But why superimpose these two?  I don’t get it.  That aside, beautifully done.

Because – The Beatles:  What vocals…what vocals

Careless whisper –George Michael:  This is a funny choice.  My first crush in life was a big George Michael fan, until he realised that GM was gay, and then he decided he would have nothing to do with any of his songs.  I have no idea what became of him, and I don’t even remember the chap too well now, but this song, Careless whisper makes me feel young.  I love the rhyme in the song.

Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton:  The lyrics and the rendition.  Clapton does not have a singing voice and struggles with the rendition, but somehow he comes out very honest and raw in this song. Perhaps because he wrote it in his time of grief.

There are a few more – Top of the world (Carpenters), Yesterday once more (also Carpenters), Que Sera Sera (Doris Day), a few Tom Pettys, traveling Wilburys etc., but I am out of steam.

Have a good week folks.

Little wonders

When my daughter was around four, we’d watch movies together.  Our favourite movies were Meet the Robinsons, Up, Frog Princess, Monsters Inc., and Toy Story.  All of these jerked our tearglands. Of these, Meet the Robinsons was the worst. During the last song, we both would bawl our hearts out. At one point, it became painful and I set the rule that we won’t watch this particular movie until both of us were older and more in control of ourselves.  So, for the past decade, we have not watched this movie.

The now fourteen year old found the movie on Netflix today and said that she was going to watch it because she was older and wiser and “I am not a kid anymore amma, I am not silly enough to cry for an animated movie”, to my objection that I am not up to consoling her now.

One and a half hours later, the better half was rolling on the floor laughing at the two grown women sobbing their eyes out.

Tsk Tsk.


I am at gadget crossroads.  A little more than a year ago, I had switched from a Mac laptop, which burnt — I may be the first person to have burnt an apple product through over use — back to windows, because I couldn’t afford another mac at that time.  I agree that Apple products are head-and-shoulders superior to windows, but the cost hike is, I feel, not commensurate.  But, like Inez’s mom says in Midnight in Paris, you get what you pay for, and cheap is cheap.  My windows laptop runs out of juice in one hour, and takes forever to recharge that it has become imperative to switch again.  I still can’t afford a Mac (the job has not paid too well this past year), but will hopefully be getting a hand-me-down from the better half, whose job would soon give him the monarch of them all, an iMac. The better half offered to buy me a new mac, but my pride comes in the way.  What is that saying about pride goeth before a fall or something like that?

I am thinking of getting an office change too.  Ever since I moved into the new house, I have been using the beautiful verandah that opens out into my yard as my office room.  I reliase that I have not worked at all — I bypassed two deadlines with the excuse that my brain is dead but this can’t continue.  I am moving back into a barricaded room, back to a table and chair, to try and re-instill some work discipline in me. I hope it works.

I haven’t been in the best of moods lately.  The reasons are numerous, I realise.  The first is the massive guilt that has now arisen with my work-lapse.  The second has been my health  — my headaches have been frequent, and I have a feeling it is some kind of blood sugar imbalance (hypoglycemia) that needs checking out — this has happened a few years ago — but I am too chicken to do it.  The weather has been oppressive this past week, hot and humid, with no promise of break in the near future. Finally, I read the newspaper a couple of days back — I had stopped reading the newspaper for this reason — and have been alternating between rage and fear, at an incident that happened in my city, a stone’s throw away from where I live.    I know bad mood is a matter of attitude and none of the above should perturb but they do.  I hope I shake it off soon.

All is not bleak though.  Sometime back, I had mentioned that the kid was in a debate competition, which was the first of five steps that finally lead, if selected, into the national team.  She not only cleared the first round, but also bypassed the second and third to go directly to the fourth, just one step from representing the country.  I am excited, although she is terrified because she will now be competing against National champions from last year for the honour.  I beg her to let me hear her talk during practice – I have never heard her debate, but she continues to bull headedly refuse.  Oh well.

Another perk is that it is butterfly season.  Some of my plants, which teasingly won’t grow, have bloomed and there are at least seven types of butterflies in my yard in the mornings.  It is beautiful.

I need more order into my life.  More discipline.  More efficiency.  Any idea where I can get them at a discount?