You know how the home stretch is the longest? I have a mini home-stretch of sorts, December through February are filled with such deadlines, and there is one on 17th, for which I am done 90%, but the last 10%…ugh.
I had taken on a national-scale assignment that I completed last week. My media work takes a break this month and would resume in January. I had four thesis to edit, and I completed the last of them today, resolving never to take on any editing work ever again..or at least for the next six months. I like editing work – there’s something satisfying about seeing a document fall into place, but the four thesis I edited were exceptionally bad, the worst I have seen yet. I don’t mind them being erratic in language quality– it’s my job to clean up language – but all four were written by students with no sincerity or interest – no basic punctuations, no coherence of thoughts, in fact, no understanding of what they have been doing as research. Perhaps I am being too judgmental, mine is to merely do and not ask questions, but it bothered me considerably . So, I am going to be more careful about the type of editing work I take up henceforth. The good thing is that I can afford to do so now, because it seems my name is up there in the academic circles as one of the best editors (a prof I don’t know personally, recently said that he is sending his paper to Nature, but won’t submit until I take a look at it, as long as it may take for me to get to it), and as conceited as I may be about it, it’s about time I valued my worth and not take up insincere work for editing.
I can see a shift in my attitude towards selfishness these days, as can be seen from the above paragraph. I am seriously beginning to wonder if this whole karma thing is a sham – people who have been callous, insincere and downright useless in their life end up getting everything, so where is the need for altruism, compassion, hard work and all that rot? But like Carol said in an earlier comment, I would never be able to live with myself without my basic scruples, and I must carry on as best as I see fit, but holding on to my scruples may not, henceforth be at the expense of self-preservation.
Perhaps the above spiritual (?)/moral questions that have plagued me in the recent past had its effect, or they were merely mid-life crisis, I fell ill last week. When I say I fell ill, I am not quite clear about about what the illness was. I had continuous dizziness for a week, and constant nausea, but my blood pressure and sugar levels were normal. Checked my eyesight, but that was normal too, except for some nervous weakness. My doctor said it was probably perimenopausal vestibular migraine, but it went away once I decided not to think about karma and all that, and just do my duty. It was most likely psychosomatic.
I attended a writing workshop today. Can writing be taught?
I have been thinking a lot about memories – a sort of meta-memory thing, but the thoughts are not consolidated enough just yet for a post. Probably soon..
I meet my favourite blogger tomorrow.
How have things been with you ?