Where do I begin?

I have a long list of resolutions that crowd my head.  I don’t even know where to begin, and I have a sneaky suspicion that none of them may fruitify.  Still…no harm laying it out bare, someone may hold me accountable.

2018 began with a serious look at self care – both physical and emotional – but somewhere along the line, self took a back seat.  The effect has been that by the end of the year, I am not only unhealthy, but also chronically unhappy.  This should stop.  I have embarked on a journey of self preservation and care.   The following are the areas that need work, and I am documenting them for reference, reminder, help and accountability.

  1. I weighed 55 kgs when I returned to India from the USA, 3 months pregnant. Fifteen years since, I weigh 62 kgs.  To put it in a more serious perspective, I was 120 lbs when 3 months pregnant.  I am 136 lbs 15 years and 7 months hence (the kid was born on NYE).  No, I am not body shaming.  I am just worried that the essential organs, that are actually 15 years older than they were then, are now catering to  16 extra lbs now.  I am not putting numbers out there as my target because that would make me obsessive, but I am certain that at least some of the extra 16 will go.
  2. Two of my relatives, my dad’s brother, and my dad’s cousin have succumbed to serious dementia/Alzheimer’s, this year.   I had already lost another direct uncle to Parkinson’s a few years back.   My brain genes scare me.  I must work towards neural health.  How? I will develop a work plan for it, and put it out here, for reference.
  3. Mindfulness.  Where the heck did that one go? I practiced mindfulness for two full years, and knowing well that it helped me through a difficult phase of my life, how could I let that go?  I will resume.  Now.
  4. Compassion.  Towards myself, first.  I will stop judging myself harshly.
  5. Work.    I will be more diligent about the work I love – the media work and the science writing.  After all, “Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana”*.  That notwithstanding, I will not edit documents from students any more, because there is a difference between “doing things even though you don’t like it” and “doing things while wanting to gouge your eyes out”.
  6. I will ask for help when I need help.  There is a difference between being proud and being stupid.
  7. I will do one kind act every day.  I will not record it here.

 

Yes, we don’t need a new year or any occasion to come up with such lists, only to give them up in a few months.  I am using the new year as an excuse to get my act together.  I hope I follow up on these.

Happy New Year people.

 

 

* Verse from the Bhagavad Gita – “You have the right only to your work, not to its returns”.

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5 thoughts on “Where do I begin?

  1. Carol

    My goal is to get back to doing chair yoga to keep my back and hip flexors stretched which I hope will eliminate the too-frequent grumbling of both. I’m not discussing weight, nor shall I continue to fret about those additional pounds that are all in the belly area. Uh huh.

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  2. Maha

    1,2,3 and 5 are on my list. I did very bad in terms of eating, exercising and mindfulness this year. I am also feeling restless about my work, have a lot of heavy lifting to do. I remember your posts from two years back when you had written about your mindfulness practice and how much you were focused on being in the Now. Do work on your resolutions and keep us posted of your progress. It is good for you, and for me because it will motivate me to work harder on mine

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