I have a long list of resolutions that crowd my head. I don’t even know where to begin, and I have a sneaky suspicion that none of them may fruitify. Still…no harm laying it out bare, someone may hold me accountable.
2018 began with a serious look at self care – both physical and emotional – but somewhere along the line, self took a back seat. The effect has been that by the end of the year, I am not only unhealthy, but also chronically unhappy. This should stop. I have embarked on a journey of self preservation and care. The following are the areas that need work, and I am documenting them for reference, reminder, help and accountability.
- I weighed 55 kgs when I returned to India from the USA, 3 months pregnant. Fifteen years since, I weigh 62 kgs. To put it in a more serious perspective, I was 120 lbs when 3 months pregnant. I am 136 lbs 15 years and 7 months hence (the kid was born on NYE). No, I am not body shaming. I am just worried that the essential organs, that are actually 15 years older than they were then, are now catering to 16 extra lbs now. I am not putting numbers out there as my target because that would make me obsessive, but I am certain that at least some of the extra 16 will go.
- Two of my relatives, my dad’s brother, and my dad’s cousin have succumbed to serious dementia/Alzheimer’s, this year. I had already lost another direct uncle to Parkinson’s a few years back. My brain genes scare me. I must work towards neural health. How? I will develop a work plan for it, and put it out here, for reference.
- Mindfulness. Where the heck did that one go? I practiced mindfulness for two full years, and knowing well that it helped me through a difficult phase of my life, how could I let that go? I will resume. Now.
- Compassion. Towards myself, first. I will stop judging myself harshly.
- Work. I will be more diligent about the work I love – the media work and the science writing. After all, “Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana”*. That notwithstanding, I will not edit documents from students any more, because there is a difference between “doing things even though you don’t like it” and “doing things while wanting to gouge your eyes out”.
- I will ask for help when I need help. There is a difference between being proud and being stupid.
- I will do one kind act every day. I will not record it here.
Yes, we don’t need a new year or any occasion to come up with such lists, only to give them up in a few months. I am using the new year as an excuse to get my act together. I hope I follow up on these.
Happy New Year people.
* Verse from the Bhagavad Gita – “You have the right only to your work, not to its returns”.