In brief…

  •  Threw a surprise party for the kid on her birthday, which turned out to not be a surprise after all. The kid was meddling with my phone and found that I had called a few of her friends.  Nevertheless, she had loads of fun.  I made layered strawberry mousse, which flew like the falcon.  The adults had a spoonful left to taste.
  • It’s the third day of the year, and I am slowly easing into my self-care resolution.  I have reduced sugar intake considerably – just one spoon with my coffee in the morning. Trying to reduce portion sizes as well. Taking baby steps into mindfulness.  Need to start on the exercise routine in earnest.
  • Started working on the many deadlines that will rule the next three months of my life.  The start is a bit slow, as it usually is, but will hopefully pick up steam soon.
  • The nights are chilly, chillier than I remember my city to be.  Perhaps it is the new house with all its ventilation and trees around that makes it chillier than the old one.  Or perhaps the weather IS chillier. Or perhaps I am merely getting old and unable to tolerate the chill.  My kid asks me how I survived Syracuse, I wonder myself.
  • I turned down two editing assignments, and feel liberated.
  • My house is a bit of a mess.  But I keep reminding myself that it’s ok.  I’ll get to the cleaning eventually. Man, it’s hard.  Not the cleaning part, but the feeling-ok-about-the-mess part.
  • Ran into a college junior today on the road.  We were pretty close friends for many years, even across continents, but today’s meeting was awkward and uncomfortable. Strange.
  • I am beginning to not want to talk to anyone now.  I usually go into this mode before my deadlines –  gearing up for all the brain work in store, but this time, the need for silence is stronger than ever, and seems unconnected to my work.
  • My mind keeps running back into all my uncomfortable memories of the past and I deliberately bring it back to the present.  God, I have too many uncomfortable memories, it seems.  Do you?
  • I may have a house guest by the end of this month.  I am mixed about it. On one hand, she is family, and a spirited family member at that. On the other hand, my need for silence and isolation….

 

How has your year been so far?

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9 thoughts on “In brief…

  1. Carol

    Oh, that need for silence, for alone time. I think it’s important – to me, a necessity. And the uncomfortable memories, the “I should have. . .” Or “I should not have. . .” Should is a very bad word, very judgmental, a word that we would be so much better off without. Yes, I should, or yes I should not – but life goes on, we survive it, Maybe we all need something to remind ourselves to be nicer to ourselves. Messes? I often do a very quick “pick-up” where I de clutter the areas that are bothering me, but quickly, simply, then go on with my day without recrimination. Sometimes.

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    1. Gobblefunkist Post author

      “Must” is my killer word. “I must be a horrible house keeper”. “I must work harder”. “I must be a horrible mom”…
      Ah well, hopefully I’ll get better at drowning out the judgemental tones in my head.

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  2. momto2cuddlebugs

    Belated birthday wishes to V! That strawberry mousse sounds super yum!
    That need for silence – I am in that place right now too. Maybe it’s because we are enjoying our own company so much these days… 🙂
    Good luck with your deadline, you will kill it! And happy new year to you and the family!

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  3. leendadll

    Your mousse reminds me of a story I just read about someone filing a formal work complaint because another worker brought in cake for a potluck and it was gone before she got a piece which she “wanted more than anyone else”. Can you imagine?!? It was resolved by the baker saying, “fine, I just won’t bring cakes to work anymore!”

    I appreciate the silence thing. I tend to need background noise in order to concentrate.. but I’ve recently realized there are apparently “rules” about the sound. I love the normal noises at home and usually have the tv on for added noise. I also like the noise of an office. But when I tried to study at the library, and again when I take my certification exams, I find the noise to be “all wrong” and horribly distracting. Earplugs make it worse… they filter the white noise and leave only the parts I don’t like. I hope you find your peace!

    If I could, I’d head over and teach you the zen of not caring about messes. I am truly a Master of that art!! But I’m also LOUD (so EVERYONE feels compelled to tell me)… so I guess that wouldn’t work out with your quest for silence.

    I’m now on the 4th day of 2019 and have mixed feelings. The 1st & 2nd held many happy surprises. The 3rd was disappointing and I think today will be also… but for no specific reason. Maybe it will go back up tomorrow.

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    1. Gobblefunkist Post author

      Oh, the loud part I wouldn’t mind if you can teach me to not give a hoot about mess. Right now my kitchen is a bit of a pig sty, and it is bothering me. I am bone tired, but I suspect I won’t be able to sleep until I fix it. Sigh !

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