I would recommend that you skip this post for both our good – you’ll not start your day (or end it) judging me, and I won’t be judged ! If you continue after this, you are on your own, consider yourself warned.
I have a friend – friend is such a forgiving word, what do you call a person you talk to at a social level almost every day, and even like, but is, going by the Wikipedia definition of “friendship”, not party to “mutual affection”? Acquaintance seems to me the kind of person you greet with a chin thrust and a ‘sup. But I digress. I have this friend, who is a lovely person. She is very energetic, chirpy, efficient and passionate, but I suspect, not appreciated enough by her family. The result? She tends to seek appreciation from me (and probably others, but I don’t know that). She usually sends me messages about what she considers her achievement, and I, being the polite person that I am, respond with appreciation, almost always deserved – I believe we don’t compliment people enough.
Last week, she sent me a message that said something like “Between 6 and 8.30 AM, I deep cleaned my house, made breakfast of dosa and sambar, made lunch of rice, mor kuzambu, agathi keerai, and nellikkai pachadi, cooked oats for my in-laws, made payasam (sweet offering) for the poojai (prayer service), did the poojai and sent my children to school”. This was the day that I had awoken late, given my kid bread and peanut butter for breakfast and packed curd rice for lunch. So, while I responded with “Wow, you are a superwoman” to her, which elicited multiple smileys from her, it got me into a funk that I am still mired in.
I am an inefficient person – and I am not being modest here, this is the truth. This morning, for example, I ran around clueless, it seemed, trying to get the kid out to school, just doing the routine I have been doing for 12 years now – what do you call a person who cannot standardize a simple morning routine after 12 years? Yes, that word again – inefficient. But I am not the only inefficient person I know. I have another friend, who is as, if not more, if that were possible, inefficient than me – she is always running late for everything , always behind on work, etc. But there is one difference between us. This friend is cool with herself – she does not give a damn, and is a personification of self confidence. I, on the other hand, walk around myself with a whip in my hand, and the septic welts on my self-esteem are unbelievable.
I wish I could tell myself what my daughter told me a few days back – “Amma, you are adequate”.